this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
