Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize