awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
ttyl tear gas
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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