I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize