It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
