Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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