My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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