I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
