i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
