don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Randomize
