I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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