I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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