Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
