she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
