All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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