Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
