I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
