Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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