You just made me feel so damn special
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
