you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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