like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
True strength comes from lack of pants
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
