Porn is love you can see.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
