I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
