Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
