Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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