easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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