im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize