my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
