That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
