I got chris browned last night
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
