I hate all girls vehemently.
no, he came in my armpit
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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