last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
