im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You don't make any sense
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