$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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