Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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