Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
