So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
