sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Boobs speak an international language.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
