so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
