Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize