Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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