giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
