Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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