ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
