Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
