nut hugger
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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