He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
