Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
