he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
