He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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