He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
