The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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