He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
