I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My bed smells like the plague
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
